Justin's Story

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

1 Month since diagnosis

One month ago today we were in a hospital room, trying to take in everything being thrown at us & mourning the loss of "the way things were."  I couldn't stop crying and Justin told me "come here and I'll give you some Justin lovin' " (cuddling)  He has been such a champ through everything, starting with the hospital, IV's, all the shots that are now a daily occurrence. He just amazes me everyday with how strong he is.  I ask him a lot about his feelings with everything, and he never has to much to say, occasionally he'll answer with "I wish I didn't have diabetes", and I'll tell him I wish the same thing, but we can't change how God made us and were gonna learn everything we can, and you'll be healthy and strong.  That always puts a smile on his face. 

Since November 19th Justin has had to prick his finger about 150 times, and get about 100 injections.  I hate it, but I know he feels better, and that's what matters.  This is not easy to take even a month later, I still cry, its tough.  Tonight I talked with the scouts about diabetes, and they earned a belt loop, Justin was so excited to show his friends how he checks his sugar.  They were all asking him a bunch of questions & while I was reading a book to them Justin made sure to tell them every part that was just like him :) 

Last weekend we went to the Boy Scout camp for the day on Saturday, Justin had a blast, and doing all the extras like checking sugar and insulin almost seemed "normal" I bring my JDRF backpack, packed with snacks and all his stuff if we'll be gone for a while.  Otherwise I fit what I need in my big purse LOL

Day Camp with Diabetes

A couple weeks ago he was at his friends house playing and he wanted an extra snack, my friend was so surprised that he said "I need to go check my sugar first"  He makes me so proud! 

One day before diagnosis :(
About 1 month after diagnosis :)

He's wearing the same shirt, that he loves!  He's already asked me when were going to another race, I feel so bad he missed out because he wasn't feeling good.  We will definitely go to another with him!  I can't wait!

I'm so happy that he feels better, He is back to his old self, who I kind of forgotten because I thought he was just growing up and acting different.  He is so silly, and always doing something to make me laugh, I love starting my day laughing and being silly with him :) He's gained 11 lbs back!  I can totally tell when I try to pick him up haha!  I tell him "dude, your waaaaayyyy to heavy" and he just laughs, what a boy!

He is teaching us about being strong, everyday.  I only wish I could change places with him so he didn't have to deal with this.  Being a kid is supposed to be carefree, not worrying about blood sugars and making sure you have a snack when your supposed to instead of when your hungry.  I thank God, that we found out what was wrong when we did before it turned into a real serious situation that required an ICU stay, I also pray to God to give the researchers the funding and tools to find a cure sometime in his lifetime.  I can only hope that will happen.  His Dr. said in 6 months to a year if he's wanting to we may try  a pump.  I think that would be great, but Justin would have to want to do it since he's the one wearing it. 

Still going one day at a time................................

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Long Week............

This week seems to be taking forever!  Justin has had a pretty good week, numbers have been ok not to high.  But he has had a couple lows before lunch at school.  Nothing that a starburst didn't help, but still makes me nervous not being there.  I think he's officially in the honeymoon stage, he's had good numbers and some lows, Dr. had us change the fast acting insulin to only 1 unit in the morning, that helped his lunch time number today.  Tonight after dinner and some popcorn he was at 67, so he ate some more snack, then was 110.  

This is all so emotionally tiring, the constant worry about how he's feeling, did he eat enough/too much, it really sucks!  I tried talking to Justin tonight about his feelings about the diabetes, and he said "I wish I was like Timmy Turner & had fairly odd parents to grant wishes, I would wish for no one to have diabetes"  :(  He has still been such a champ with everything, he's checking his own sugar, will do the whole thing, loading a strip in machine, prick finger, put blood on strip.  And he's letting us rotate from all the available injection sites now.  He was just letting us do in the arms. 

He's gained more weight, up to 52.6.......so now he's gained almost 9 pounds back!  He looks so good, and healthy again!  He's happy and wanting to joke around, It makes me so happy to see him like that!  Every time I look at the picture from the race the day before diagnosis, I just want to cry.  I know we caught it earlier than a lot of people do, but he just looks awful, makes me feel so bad.  I still have good cries about everything, I guess I will for a while.  Just gotta go through the emotions I guess.  Each day is a little easier, but I know this will be a challenge and they'll be good days and bad days.  

He is excited about the parades this weekend, the first one on Saturday his Cub Scout Pack is involved, then Sunday were going to watch the Wellington parade.  And hopefully sometime squeeze in driving around to look at lights :)  And maybe put up our lights outside before its too late LOL.....so disorganized this year!  

Justin had the leftover letters from our parade banner and decided to hang some on his door :)

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Emotionally Exhausted

I feel like a need to just sleep, I really haven't slept good since the diagnosis, I just have a nagging nervous worried feeling, and toss and turn all night.  I'm so emotionally exhausted, I feel like I just need to sleep good and give my brain a rest! On top of that, I've finally caught Justin's cold, well really just a cough, so thats not going to help. 

Today when the school called to let me know his BG at lunch he was low, 53!  He said he was feeling fine, so I'm not sure how low it needs to be to cause a problem....so he at lunch, then it was at 89, but the insulin hadn't peaked yet, so he had 1 starburst, and it was a little over 100, much better!  Then before dinner, it was 114, right where it should be for before a meal :)  

Justins school is amazing, all the ladies there have been so great!  I know this is a lot to deal with and it's hard having someone else deal with it all day, they call me, and like today they will call multiple times if needed, so I'm worried all day, even though I still do.  I'm just so nervous something bad is going to happen when I'm not near him, not that I'm a dr or anything, but I'm just so nervous about everything!  I thought the sad/angry feelings were going away, but tonight I don't feel like they are.  I guess I'm just going to have to cry some more, I always feel better afterwards.  


Sunday, December 2, 2012

A good day!

Justin's numbers were good all day today!  He felt good, and had tons of energy and was just being so silly!  I made a spot for all of his stuff, trying to stay organized!  This is short and sweet today, not much to say and I'm exhausted LOL :)


Poking his finger

Putting the blood on the strip

Saturday, December 1, 2012

One day at a time..........

It's almost 2 weeks since diagnosis, and Justin is doing awesome! He seen the Endocrinologist on Friday and everything was good, changed his insulin dose a little bit because he's gained weight.  She explained the "honeymoon" stage and that if his BG levels are low, to call and she'll let me know what to do as far as how much insulin to give.  The "honeymoon" stage is a period when the pancreas is still producing some insulin, but only about 10% of the beta cells are working.  So you still need to give some insulin.  She said everything was good for now, and follow up in 2 months.  Her assistants hooked us up with insulin and a 2nd meter, and lots of information!  

Friday Justin woke up at 6am having really bad stomach pain, not sure what it was from.  The Dr. thinks it's diet change related.  After the stomach pain first thing in the morning he was fine, until after lunch, then he was having stomach pain and a headache.  I'm not sure if they were diabetic related or not, but of course it got me all upset, and I had another good cry.  I HATE seeing my little boy in pain or not feeling good, this is so hard because I can't take it away.  The thing that really bothers me the most is that this is FOREVER!  I hate that his whole life he's gonna have to watch what he eats, and not just for weight control, but because his life depends on it.  IT SUCKS!  I've said before I grew up with my Dad a type 1, and it was normal to check blood sugar and give insulin, but I never really knew much past that, I remember if he was low we'd stop at a gas station so he could get a candy bar or something, but never really knew.............and now I feel so bad knowing what a day is like.  I know it is what it is, and you deal with it, but it really sucks!

Today was better, Justin didn't complain of any stomach pains or headache.  Numbers are still high at certain times, but Dr. wasn't concerned, so I won't be.  She knows what shes doing, plus if he's in honeymoon stage too much insulin will make him low.  We got a lot done today, did a little shopping, I got a new purse with 3 different compartment so I can be more organized with all of Justin's stuff I am now carrying, had some lunch, finally got my car washed lol and got our Christmas tree.....I even made my first fresh wreath :)  Justin was in a good mood most of the day, he was a little low before lunch and was getting grouchy.....but he ate and was fine. 

Justin had fun playing with his buddy, while I made the wreath and Chris put the lights on the tree.  Then after dinner, me and Justin put the ornaments on the tree.  He loved looking at all of them and asking questions about them.  Oh and he's checking his own blood sugar already!  Were still right there helping, but he'll poke his own finger, and he can get the blood onto the strip :)  So proud of him!!  Taking it one day at a time..........

Being silly in Target :)

So excited about the Christmas tree!

My crazy kid!! Loves to run onto my bed haha!